All About Them

Polyamory is a topic still largely unexplored in fiction. It’s a topic I’m also interested in seeing more of. This is why I watched All About Them, as I knew it had poly themes. And while the movie is decent, it did disappoint me. If you’re gonna make a movie with poly themes, do me a favour and don’t have it end with a return to a two person heterosexual relationship. Like, what’s even the point?

All About Them is about a love triangle between a long term couple and a longtime friend of theirs. Micha and Charlotte are a long-term couple. Their relationship lacks passion though they are still committed to each other. The third party is Charlotte’s friend, Mélodie. When the movie starts, Charlotte and Mélodie are already having an affair. But within the first ten minutes, Mélodie also kisses Micha and the two of them begin an affair as well. This leads to much stress for Mélodie as she tries to keep her two affairs secret while also having a busy job. Eventually, obviously, Micha and Charlotte discover Mélodie’s penchant for both of them. Then, for a brief, shining moment, the love triangle resolves as them trying to all be together.

The film is basically a romantic comedy though the comedy elements largely miss. The comedic elements are standard and not brilliantly done. Ironically, I think the movie played it too straight with the comedy. It didn’t want to dip into “zany” territory so they tried to understate some of the more overtly humorous elements. It doesn’t work. The film is at its best when its pointing out the absurdity of the situation of Mélodie hiding her romantic relationships from people also in a romantic relationship. Sadly, the film doesn’t often hit that mark. Most of the humour in All About Them is slapstick and situation-based. There’s rarely character-based jokes as these characters are fairly flat overall. This is a major missed opportunity. A story like this would work better with character-based comedy and also with characters who have traits and a personality.

Being a French film, All About Them has a relaxed attitude towards sexuality and affairs. This is definitely a stereotype about French movies though there is truth that French films are often not just sexually liberated but osexually focused. There’s a belief in this movie that I’ve seen in other French movies that passion (or as I would call it, horniness) is an explanation and justification of actions. This movie is definitely horny to an insane degree. Mélodie and both Micha and Charlotte are constantly having liaisons in very high-risk situations. They disregard the risks because, well, they’re horny. Mélodie basically keeps making out with one of them the moment the other party’s back is turned. I’m surprised it took until the third act for them to figure out what was up.

The poly angle doesn’t come in until the end and I do wish for more from it. There’s never any actual discussion of them evolving their relationship into a triad. They all just share a bunch of intense eye contact and then have a threesome. This is a shame. Potential conversations around this topic would have been good fodder from comedy, romance, character work and just generally quality. This is not a depiction of a committed, romantic poly relationship. It’s just three horny people who for a brief moment in time were all horny together.

One of the last scenes of All About Them is the three going to a beach after attending a wedding together. They swim in the ocean, fall asleep in the sand and also Mélodie proclaims “Je vous aimez.” I love that specific line. I thought it was really beautiful. I thought this was the end of the movie and I was already writing a conclusion for this review about how the film isn’t great but at least there was a good last scene and a polyamorous endgame. Nope! I mistimed how long the movie is. In the last three minutes, Mélodie suddenly decides to fuck off to another city leaving Charlotte and Micha to remain in the exact same relationship they started the movie in. Disappointing!

If you stop All About Them before these last three minutes where heterosexual normalcy is reestablished, I would give it a positive review. For all its faults, it was an acceptably charming movie and the leads had good chemistry. But damn, I’m so mad that the film got so close to being a solid poly flick before it nerfs it at the very end. Commit to the theme and the subject matter, All About Them! You were so close, just see it through to the end! We need more poly movies about ongoing poly relationships instead of it just being a short-term experiment. I was hoping All About Them would be French enough to be such a film. Sadly, it isn’t and that’s super disappointing.

Overall rating: 5.8/10

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