Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay

I actually really like trashy movies. I live for exploitation sleaze. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen most of the good ones at this point. Now all I’m left with is crap like Girl Slaves of Morgan Le Fay.

Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay is about the entire cast and crew doing a lot of drugs. Seriously, nobody in or around this movie was sober at any point. I watched this film while I was studying French. Generally I failed to watch french movies without relying heavily on subtitles. With Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay, I could largely follow the dialogue because everyone’s too drugged out to string together a complex sentence.

The actual plot of this movie is something about a trippy island full of lady witches who all do sex with each other. Not because they’re gay and not even out of some sort of necessity as there are no men on the island. It’s really just because they’re all too high to recognize concepts like gender anyways. The passivity that comes from being completely fucking drugged out follows the characters into the fictional universe so they’re all passive participants in something that does have the potential to be an interesting story.

The story follows two women who are lead by a dwarf to this weird, lesbian island and then they just do weird, lesbian stuff. Then, the women are offered immortality and beauty if they stay on the weird, lesbian island. However, one of the women, Françoise, doesn’t want this. Subsequently, Françoise makes her escape after having some more druggy lesbian sex and collecting various magical macguffins. Finally, the movie ends with her escaping…. Or does she?

In addition to everything else that’s wrong with this movie, I can’t relate to the main character. Françoise spends most of the movie trying to escape an island of beautiful, immortal lesbians. I cannot understand that decision and I do not respect it.

One positive to the film is that often, the lesbian content in these exploitation films pretty low. Usually, maybe one character is a low-level bisexual. Not in Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay. This movie has an almost entirely female cast all with fluid sexuality and a willingness to have half-assed lesbian sex with each other.

For all the lesbian sex featured in the movie, none of it is shot, acted or staged competently. Women are supposed to be going down on one another but their heads are constantly situated around their partners’ belly buttons. I’m not sure what either party is getting out of that position. It’s hard to lose myself to this fantasy of an island of beautiful, queer magic ladies when it seems that none of them know even vaguely where the vagina is.

This movie is not for me. Even as someone who likes exploitation films, there are better ones. What I enjoy about exploitation is that there is clear passion from the filmmakers to make the project. Sleazy though they may be, at their best, exploitation films are undiluted labours of love. They may not be competent films but usually, they are passionate films. The people making them want to see the finished project. That’s not what Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay is. Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay is a bad and lazy film. The only passion here is for the feeling of being high and it shows.

Overall rating: 3.4/10

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