The Blood Spattered Bride

I probably shouldn’t like The Blood Spattered Bride. Even by decades-old exploitation film standards, The Blood Spattered Bride is pretty overt in its fear of feminism and lesbianism. However, that fear is so prominent that I think it loops back around into being borderline complimentary. As a lesbian, I absolutely want straight people to think of me and my ilk as not only sexy and imminently capable of stealing your girlfriend/wife, but also that we have supernatural powers and will absolutely do a murder.

The Blood Spattered Bride is about a young couple who go to the husband’s family home after their wedding. Initially they experience newlywed bliss. However, soon the wife Susan starts having disturbing homoerotic dreams that also suggest she kill her husband. Things only get worse after her husband finds a stranger on the beach. That stranger is Carmilla. Her first scene is hands down one of the best ways I’ve ever seen a character be introduced. The husband finds her buried in sand with a snorkel for some reason. Following this bizarre introduction, the husband takes Carmilla home with him. Now being seduced not only in her dreams but in reality by Carmilla, Susan sinks deeper into her clutches. With Carmilla’s influence, Susan starts seriously considering killing her husband and also doing lesbian stuff with Carmilla.

This version of Carmilla is absolutely some sort of radical feminist straw-man. She has this man-hating thing about how heterosexual sex is demeaning to women and men are dirty, evil and deserve to be killed or whatever. Obviously, we’re supposed to dislike and disagree with this character. But that position foolishly assumes its audience is entirely heterosexual. The Blood Spattered Bride probably never considered that in 50 years’ time some young, obnoxious lesbian would watch the movie and find this character to be rather flattering. I’m flattered that there seemed to be a concern that Carmilla and what she represents was actually a threat and something to be feared. Personally, I’m okay with the idea of men fearing me. It’s funny to watch this movie 50 years later and know that the fears it represents are unfounded. Women’s liberation didn’t lead to women killing their husbands. And, despite the dearest wishes of me and many other lesbians, none of us are actually murderous vampires.

Visually, I have a soft-spot for European exploitation. I generally find their camerawork and aesthetic much more pleasing than American exploitation from the same time period. The Blood Spattered Bride uses soft focus and a touch of surrealism to anchor this story with visuals that are pleasing to look at. The juxtaposition of its well-shot visual component combined with the film’s general depravity totally works for me.

The Blood Spattered Bride is the right kind of exploitation film. It exemplifies that saying “if you’re gonna do something wrong, do it right.” If you’re gonna watch an exploitation film, watch a well-shot European one with beautiful women, an actual attempt at a story and fearful, antiquated ideals as to the threat of lesbianism.

Overall rating: 6.9/10

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