The Girl King

King Christina of Sweden is an incredible historical figure. She was very well educated, dressed and acted androgynous and generally refused the gender roles of the day. Christina also refused to marry a man as that would mean she would lose her position as a king. She is a fascinating figure that absolutely deserves to have multiple biopics made about her. That’s why I’m so upset with the one we got. The Girl King is a two hour exercise in wasted potential and disappointment.

The Girl King follows Christina from the time as a young girl in which her mother sort of tried to kill her up until her years as a young woman. At this point in her life, pressure from all sides demanded that she marry and generally take a more appropriate role for a woman. Christina refuses. During this time, Christina becomes instantly taken with Countess Ebba Sparre. Ebba will become her female lover for the remainder of the movie.

Mostly, The Girl King features figures of authority telling Christina to do things and her refusing. While I should be rooting for Christina doing that, it’s hard to because Christina constantly comes off as such a brat. Historically, there is some evidence to suggest that Christina might’ve been on the autistic spectrum. This movie does not take this route in terms of her characterization which I think is a mistake. While we can never know the motivations or mentality of someone long dead, the film adheres to Christina’s idiosyncrasies without giving them a specific reason or tying them well into her character. As such, she comes across as difficult and unlikable. More than anything, Christina comes off as entitled and rather spoiled. I felt no empathy for this character and that’s a huge problem.

I think The Girl King chose the wrong thing to focus on. With a character as rich Christina, you do need to pick a theme to focus on in regards to characterization and plot. Small bits of Christina’s life and fractions of her character are enough fuel for a 90-minute screenplay. The Girl King chose to focus on the queer aspect of Christina’s character. I think it does the character a disservice. This character liking women is not the most interesting thing about her. If the movie was a love story, fine. But for more of a biopic/character exploration, that’s not the most interesting theme. I would’ve much preferred a movie about a gender non-conforming powerful political entity who just happened to like women as opposed to muting those elements and focusing on her attraction to women.

On top of that, it’s a pretty bad queer love story. Christina’s interest in Ebba seems to be based almost wholly in the physical . Historically, Christina was rarely interested in women in any capacity. Her interest in Ebba seems to be almost despite her femininity, not because of it. I would’ve liked to see Christina’s fascination with Ebba come more from who she is as a person than the fact that she is beautiful. However, this angle would’ve been impossible in this movie as Ebba had very little character.

If you’re looking for a healthy or enjoyable depiction of a queer relationship, that is not to be found in The Girl King. Christina acts borderline predatory towards Ebba. She does things like making Ebba change in front of her and sneaking into Ebba’s room as she sleeps. When they consummate their relationship, they do so on top of the Devil’s Bible. What incredible representation of queer relationships, A+.

In addition to the bad storytelling, the actresses have very little chemistry. Loathe though I am to say it, Malin Buska had more chemistry with one of her male leads and it felt like they had more build-up towards a relationship. This is how you know this movie is bad. I’m entertaining the notion of heterosexuality because even that would be a better alternative than the relationship we got.

The performances overall are pretty weak. The dialogue tended to feel stilted and unnatural when the actors say it. Maybe it worked on paper but none of the actors bring any personal cadence to their lines.

Ultimately, I think the fault lies in the director, Mika Kaurismäki. Nothing here is directed well. It feels like Kaurismäki is more interested in the atmosphere than the characters but the atmosphere is bad too. He can set a scene but not a mood. The way scenes are cut lends itself more to a movie in the action genre than a drama. The editing manages to rob this movie further of any emotional moments and there weren’t many successful ones to begin with.

Don’t watch this movie. I want this movie to be forgotten so that some day sooner rather than later we can get the well-directed, Oscar-bait King Christina biopic starring Saoirse Ronan. If you’re interested in this character, just read the Wikipedia article. It’s more interesting anyways. This film had such incredible material to work with yet it offers nothing but disappointment across the board.

Overall rating: 4.8/10

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