Coming Home For Christmas

Strap in folks, this one is gonna be a long one. I thought Coming Home For Christmas would be an easy review. Just a nice, lighthearted and low budget Christmas movie to warm my spirit. And briefly, it was. And then, as each character developed more identity and plot, the film just gets worse and worse until I can no longer say this earnest attempt at a sweet Christmas movie was any kind of heartwarming.

Pat and Mantha have been together for decades. They’ve adopted five daughters together. All of whom apparently are lesbians. Of course, being Christmas, they’re expecting to have at least most of their daughters back in the house. The youngest, Lonnie still lives at home, so that’s easy. Oldest daughter, Smyth is arriving with her wife, Tallahassee. Smyth and Tallahassee’s marriage is on the rocks largely because of Smyth’s judgmental, high-strung nature. Second daughter, Hanna works as an escort, much to Mantha’s disapproval. Middle daughter Beans is a question mark. Mentally ill, Beans lives on the streets and has an opioid addiction though Mantha always prays she will return. Then there’s Shane. Shane says she’s bringing a surprise home for Christmas. That surprises? Her white boyfriend. Pat has an announcement as well. Pat plans to transition, something that Mantha is wildly unsupportive of.

There are moments in the first act where Coming Home for Christmas succeeds at being what I think it’s supposed to be, a heartwarming if dysfunctional portrait of a non-traditional family who still love each other. Some of the early interactions really do project a comforting warmth I welcomed. Pat is so kind and is a great parent to all. Lonnie is a lovely little baby butch, confident in her identity and with the best grasp of what family means. Hanna is also a standout as the most fun-loving and fun to watch of the characters. Early interactions between Lonnie and Hanna are a genuine delight to watch. Then, everyone else comes home.

The household in Coming Home For Christmas celebrates and prides itself on being a space that took in and provided family to people who were shunned. Namely, little queer girls in foster care who got a chance to live in a loving household with queer parents. But as it turns out, this environment that touts to welcome and shelter marginalized identities has a very narrow list of what those identities can be. Far from depicting unconditional love, Coming Home For Christmas portrays extremely conditional love and support. There’s a line in the movie about how family should be the place where you can be the truest version of yourself. But everything that happens in this movie disproves that.

Even early on when I still had cozy feeling from the film, the depiction of Pat’s transition was a bucket of ice water. Mantha is more than just unsupportive, she’s disrespectful. Pat constantly reiterates plans to transition and to announce that to the family. Mantha counters by saying it will destroy the family. There’s a moment where Mantha gets a “sign from God”. And I thought, good! She’ll have a change of heart. Nope! The return of prodigal daughter Beans means Mantha doubles down that Pat coming out would ruin the family. By the end of the movie, Mantha comes around. But not before Pat does come out which prompts eldest daughter Smyth to call Pat disgusting, a disgrace and says this is why all the kids are messed up. It’s heartbreaking. This is followed by a male stripper dressed as Santa bursting in and Hanna twerking with him.

Then, there’s Shane and her boyfriend. Apparently, Pat and Mantha managed to find five gay children in foster care and never considered that sexuality doesn’t always manifest or stabilize at such young an age. So, Shane’s got a boyfriend now. And that’s a betrayal too. Admittedly, Shane concealed that she grew up in a queer household without a dad which shocks the boyfriend. But Mantha is also betrayed by the simple fact that she’s dating a man. Seemingly, this movie has never heard the term bisexuality. Shane constantly says she used to be gay or even, that she outgrew that. Her not being gay anymore is apparently why she hasn’t been home in years. She thinks she outgrew that “phase” of her life. While you never outgrow family even if they’re all gay, her logic makes more sense when you see how her family reacts to her breaking with “tradition” and bringing a man home. Also, her boyfriend totally sucks and uses dyke as a slur about the family.

Pat and Shane get it the worst. But there’s judgment and bad takes in other stories too. Hanna gets a lot of judgment for being a sex worker. At least what makes this one different is that Hanna pushes back. Moreover, the movie gives her the opportunity to push back and stand up for herself, something it never gives Pat a chance to do. Even here though, there’s a hierarchy of judgment. The movie has also never heard the term sex worker. Hanna proudly claims the identity as an escort, as opposed to “prostitutes” who apparently merely opens their legs for customers instead of being arm candy like Hanna. Hanna’s disdain for prostitutes is emblematic of so much of Coming Home For Christmas, a marginalized identity punching down on a different or even more marginalized identity in a way which the film doesn’t critique or have her grow from.

The film is all about family and how Christmas brings family together, despite its struggles. But while they are all in physical proximity to each other, they all seem genuinely worse off by the end of the holiday. Well, Hanna’s okay, maybe. Shane’s now engaged to a man who doesn’t know or respect her family. Beans runs off again. Lonnie’s belief of her loving family has taken several hits. Smyth has failed to grow at all, yet her long-suffering wife determines there are no other options but to stay married. Pat’s spent the whole season disrespected by their wife and hiding a secret. And Mantha lost all my respect as a viewer. Even in Mantha’s end of film speech where she “accepts” Pat’s transition, she continues to use female pronouns for Pat which makes me doubt how much support she’ll actually give Pat on this journey.

Coming Home For Christmas drew me in with a few good characters and the promise of a Christmas-themed household of black lesbians who love each other. Instead, the movie leans into dramatics and doesn’t resolve deep character flaws. Beyond character flaws, I find the movie itself is flawed in how judgmental it is towards those identities that dare deviate from lesbianism. This film is not kind to trans people, bisexual people or sex workers. While in its way realistic that family might not support marginalized identities, the film only focuses on this and chooses not to spend as much time depicting support or understanding. Far from heartwarming, it’s instead heartbreaking in its constant judgment and denigration of the identities and lives of some of its lead characters.

Overall rating: 2.7/10

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