Jack and Diane

Jack and Diane is incredibly disappointing. It’s partially my fault for having expectations but mostly the movie’s fault for not being good. I was under the impression Jack and Diane was a movie with WLW and werewolves. It is not. I am not even sure what it is other than not good.

Jack and Diane is about two awkward girls who meet and form a relationship despite not having much in common except their frequent conversations surrounding bodily functions (most frequently poop). Shit just sort of happens in this movie. A car hits Jack which is mostly pointless to the overall movie. Diane has a twin sister who was assaulted and the video put online marketed as pornography. Also unimportant. Although alternately, I suppose these events are all of equal importance because none of them matter. Low energy and uninteresting, Jack and Diane listlessly drifts through these events stopping only briefly to discuss something gross.

The creature transformation element I was under the false impression the movie focused on is relegated to dreams and metaphor. Diane dreams she is a monster who consumes Jack. But this is not foreshadowing, only a psychological representation of her mental state. Mental-based monsters of metaphor is not what I signed up for! If I wanted to see monsters that only exist in dreams, I’d just take a nap.

Jack and Diane is a movie with a massive identity crisis. It can’t decide whether or not it’s a horror movie and if so, what sort of horror it wants to be. Paralyzed with indecision, the horror elements are minimized. What’s left is a failed love story that’s uncomfortable to watch. I’ve no idea what the original script was but it really seems like there should’ve been a more dramatic and vicious third act. This does not happen. Instead, the film just limps towards the finish, failing to have anything of interest happen at any point.

Overall rating: 3.8/10

Other WLW movies in similar genres