Jailbait

Jailbait is the story of the definitely 17-year old Anna Nix. After accidentally killing her sexually abusive stepfather, Anna is sent to juvenile detention. Here, she goes through all the classic women in prison plots– she gets on the wrong side of a badass gang the first day, has a sensitive but mysterious roommate who becomes her confidant and eventual lover, gets addicted to drugs, prostitutes herself for said drugs, has a mental breakdown and gets molested by the standard creepy warden.

I watched this movie for one reason, and that was how fucking bad the DVD cover is.

That fucking tagline, how incredibly NOT 17 this actress is and most of all, that pull quote. Pull quotes are supposed to have have positive reviews from credible sources. I thought it was funny that first of all, there’s no source attributed to it. Usually I would call bullshit on the quote but this one seems legit only because of how tepid the statement is– “in the vein of Orange is the New Black.” That’s the best quote they could get. It’s not a positive statement of any sort, it’s just a comparison. When I saw this DVD cover and I thought oh man, this must be shit if that’s the best review they got.

And I was right. Fuck me, this movie is shit. This film is not much like Orange is the New Black beyond it taking place in a female prison. More than anything, Jailbait is essentially a modern version of the women in prison subgenre of films from the 1970′s. Except, those films are bananas! They so revel in their exploitation. Usually, I don’t mind how trash they are because the level of trash is so high it becomes harmless in how ridiculous it is. Jailbait isn’t trashy enough. It pulls this whole gritty realism thing which doesn’t work because it’s supposed to be sexy. Also, it’s set in a juvenile detention centre just to ensure maximum levels of not sexy and not fun.

Seriously, why did they decide to make this movie take place at a juvenile detention centre? All these women having sex, getting raped, doing drugs and performing nude scenes are supposed to be underage. Why would you do that? It’s just so uncomfortable to watch nude scenes with the lead actress because even though she’s clearly not 17, she’s supposed to be. Am I as an audience member supposed to be attracted to this poor, abused, wrongly accused 17 year old inmate? Because I’m not. I’m just sad.

As for WLW content, it’s a women’s prison and an exploitation film so it’s there but it’s also not fun to watch. Anna of course becomes the prison wife/bitch/derogatory phrase of your choosing to the leader of a gang. They have that standard relationship of drugs being exchanged for uh, really aggressive handjobs I guess? Lord, do men not know how to do a proper lesbian sex scene. They just don’t know what to do if there’s not a dick. Bless them.

Anna also has a relationship with her cellmate which is fine, I guess. The movie’s too terrible for this to be some hidden gem of a love story but it’s consensual so that’s already a major step up. I do think it’s funny that usually such exploitation films like to remind us that the lead female is still at least bisexual by having her eventual love interest be the lone good guy in a film. But because all the men in this movie were fucking awful, her enduring love story by default was with her creepy female roommate. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the way they wanted the story to turn out and they weren’t really into that ending. But they didn’t have a better, more heterosexual alternative because they’re bad at their jobs.

Jailbait is bad exploitation. It isn’t fun to watch. It’s not sexy or fun or creative. It’s just dirty in all the wrong ways. This is the kind of exploitation that makes you feel like you’re lying on a dirty mattress in a condemned house listen to cockroaches scuttle around just out of earshot. I love exploitation done right but Jailbait isn’t it. Regardless of what you’re a fan of lesbians, exploitation or Orange is the New Black, you will not like this film. If you are conscious, you will not like this film. There is nothing there for anyone in Jailbait that isn’t done better somewhere else

Overall rating: 2.6/10

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