Monstrous

It would be wholly accurate to called Monstrous the lesbian Yeti movie. But that would also promise a more exciting film than what Monstrous delivers. I also want to clarify that tragically, none of the lesbian characters are the Yeti. I guess the world still isn’t ready for queer cryptids.

Monstrous begins when Sylvia meets up with a mysterious woman from Craigslist on behalf of her friend. In Whitehall, NY, many young women have mysteriously disappeared. Sylvia’s friend Jamie is hot on the case and finds someone named Alex who claims to have information. Sylvia meets up with Alex who turns out to be a woman. Both being gay, Sylvia and Alex quickly forget about the missing girls and engage in some lesbianism. Alex takes Sylvia to her cottage which she claims is Yeti-proof. But there is more to Alex and her cabin than Yeti prevention.

Monstrous ends up as more serial killer thriller than creature feature. For presumably budget reasons, you rarely see the full Yeti onscreen. Maybe a hand grabs someone or furry object walks by half shrouded in darkness. The real villain here is humanity. Specifically, Alex. She does more damage than the Yeti. Monstrous has enough of the serial killer thriller element to not need the Yeti stuff. Tragically, the reverse is not true. There’s not enough Yeti stuff to fill a full movie. A shame, as that’s the more novel story. I’ve seen a lot of secret serial killer murder cabins. I’ve seen much fewer Bigfoot stories.

Given this mixture, the film is reminiscent of 10 Cloverfield Lane. There is a dangerous, inhuman threat outside the walls. But inside the walls? Oops, it’s a serial killer. Monstrous isn’t as good as 10 Cloverfield Lane. The characters aren’t distinct enough. The beats are also far too predictable. 10 Cloverfield Lane had a real sense of mounting dread. Monstrous, even when someone is being killed onscreen doesn’t have half that dread.

The story of this film is not the most unique, but with better directing, it would’ve been enough. But the directing isn’t there. There’s not enough mood and not enough mounting tension. Even in the overtly “scary” parts, something just doesn’t land. The formula they use is fine. But it’s missing that special sauce that makes that formula come to life and scare its audience.

Monstrous isn’t terrible. It’s competent, but fails to bring real scares. There’s also not enough Yeti representation. At least no harm comes to the Yeti, though. The humans don’t fare super well, but my friend the Yeti comes through unscathed. So there’s still a door open for a sequel to Monstrous. One where the Yeti joins the ranks of gay cryptids. Hopefully this imaginary sequel would have enough budget to show the Yeti and their new partner, The Loch Ness Monster on a lovely and murderous date.

Overall rating: 4.3/10

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