The Eiffel Tower Mystery

The response I’ve seen from every other WLW film fan on the internet towards The Eiffel Tower Mystery is how thrilled they are that this movie exists. The Eiffel Tower Mystery is a period piece murder mystery meant for fun, light entertainment. And overall, I’m certainly glad it exists too. But while I absolutely applaud this film on the bigger picture of its genre and existence, it doesn’t hold up as well when you take a closer look.

The Eiffel Tower Mystery is part of a series of French TV movie mysteries about notable locations around Paris. This one takes place in the 19th century and focuses on the daughters of one of the architects of the Eiffel Tower. The recently divorced Louise lives with her father, who doesn’t understand why she won’t consent to being unhappy in a marriage. But, at a tour of the Eiffel Tower, Louise’s friend, Charlotte is framed to look like she murdered her husband. Louise’s investigation brings her to a magic show featuring a glamorous assistant named Henriette. Henriette openly flirts with Louise which causes Louise to have a sexuality crisis. And if all that wasn’t enough, Louise too gets framed for a murder. What choice does a girl have but to clear her name and engage in lesbianism with the effervescent Henriette?

It’s a curious quirk of humans that murder mysteries are something we find cozy. The Eiffel Tower Mystery understands this. But this means the movie isn’t the most ambitious or unique. What’s cozy about murder mysteries is the familiarity of the tropes. Even third act plot twists are expected, even if you don’t know the specifics. All of this is to say that The Eiffel Tower Mystery isn’t exactly shooting for the stars. This was meant to be watched on a small screen for fairly momentary diversion. One way the film disappointed me is how artificial it looks. I don’t feel transported back to the 19th century. Instead, I feel transported to the sound stage where they shot the film. Even on a small screen, it’s obvious that the budget didn’t allow for exterior shots, setting and costume design that would really bring a period piece to life.

But at least there’s lesbians. Especially as this is part of a series, it is great to see that diversity. It’s definitely a unique point in the film’s favour. And the lesbians are the best part. Or, Henriette specifically. She’s dreamy. This is one of those movies where perhaps I’m personally jealous of Louise. Louise is pretty passive overall. She actively tries to avoid being in this narrative until she has to be. She also tries to ignore Henriette’s advances and her own feelings. And I can’t help but feel that Henriette deserves better than the fairly bland Louise. But again, this is probably just jealousy because I can’t find a girlfriend who wears corsets and does magic.

The film loses me when it gets a little too bleak to be cozy. After Louise is accused of murder, she’s sent to an asylum. So there’s a lovely little subplot about treatment of the mentally ill and how that intersects with misogyny. There’s semi-valid commentary about how this was bad. But for what? It’s a very surface view of a seriously disturbing historical problem. Far from adding depth, this element bursts the bubble of funtimes required to make a murder mystery something light and cozy. Then, the film whiplashes you again in the third act which relies on improbable if not impossible feats of hypnosis. I think you gotta pick one or the other: hypnosis as a murder mystery plot point OR exploration of the systemic abuse women suffered in asylums.

I’m still glad The Eiffel Tower Mystery exists. On the whole, I think the film served its purpose. It’s a fun little TV movie mystery with solid representation. But I personally wanted more. I love the mystery genre. And it feels like the people who enjoy this one are grading it on the curve of other lesbian murder mystery films; of which there are very few. But when I grade this on the curve of murder mystery TV movies in general, it leaves too much to be desired. They didn’t have the money to pull off the period piece aspect particularly well. And Louise certainly isn’t a character interesting enough to warrant more than one story about her. As it is, she’s probably the least interesting part of the story she’s in. The Eiffel Tower Mystery is enjoyable, but I’m still going to demand more. We can do better.

Overall rating: 5.7/10

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