Who Am I Now?

Look, l just think if you’re going to make a story as melodramatic as Who Am I Now? that you need to have some specifics. It can’t just be constant scenes of women crying, declaring, “I can’t do this” and running away.

Alex sees Erin dancing at a club and is immediately entranced. The two women develop a brief friendship where they share certain personal revelations such as the death of their respective parents. Then, they sleep together. Attraction to women is new for both of them. Alex is unnerved by it, but certainly ready to explore this new possibility. However, after their night together, Erin pulls back and denies any feelings she and Alex share. As Alex continues her journey of coming out and coming to terms with herself, Erin retreats. In denial about her feelings, Erin acts out in ways that hurt those close to her, especially Alex.

Who am I Now? is a melodramatic coming out story. One that takes place in Canada in the 2020s. I live in Canada, and I am not saying it’s some sort of LGBTQ* utopia. However, this film makes hardly any acknowledgement of the fact that in 2020s Canada, two adult white women dating each other isn’t the most shocking thing in the world. This sort of story is one I have seen in various decades past, technically going right back to the 1960’s, though those examples can be kind of iffy. The main time for these coming out dramas seems to be the 90s and 2000s. But here’s Who Am I Now? coming along 30 years later to do the exact same story without any acknowledge about how time has passed and how much of society has moved on.

It’s the lack of specificity that’s the problem. Well, one of the problems. God knows there’s reasons even a Canadian white woman might not want to come out. But Who Am I Now? doesn’t expound on what those are. Whatever social pressures Erin is under go largely unseen and undiscussed. The film wants you to take it on faith or assumption that these pressures exist. But at this point in time, I am gonna need you to point to what those are. Is it a discriminatory work place? An unsupportive friend group? I’m pretty sure it’s not parental pressure as one of the things I do know is that one or both of Erin’s parents are dead. When the reaction to the possibility of being gay is as strong as it is, there needs to be something specific it’s rooted in. Who Am I Now? doesn’t provide this.

Plus, it’s not like the romance and attraction between Alex and Erin feels that strong either. These women are supposed to have such an intense connection that both of them do gay stuff for the first time. And afterwards, even as Erin tearfully claims she can’t be gay, they still share a passionate kiss because their chemistry is just. that. strong. I don’t see it. What Alex and Erin have in common is that they’re bland, boring women. The first act developing their relationship doesn’t go far enough and the actresses don’t have enough chemistry to sell it on that level. Which leaves me with the question of when Erin claims she can’t do this, why doesn’t she simply not do this? Who Am I Now? wants there to be an undeniable connection between the two leads. But as a viewer, I found it extraordinarily easy to deny them.

I genuinely like the last scene or two of the film. The way that Alex and Erin’s lives joined and then diverged that culminates in the final scene more or less works. But I neither enjoyed nor believed any of the journey it took to get us there. By the 2020s, queer cinema has evolved enough that what is basically a coming out story is rather passe. And certainly in order to do one successfully, there needed to be far more specifics than Who Am I Now? offers its characters.

Overall rating: 3.2/10

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