If you’re gonna play in the BDSM as horror/thriller space, I’m gonna need some really no-flinching nastiness. Also, more of a focus on the psychology of the characters that got them to such a place. If you’re not going to do either of those things, you might as well just make porn to begin with. 4.0/10
Tag: <span>genre: softcore</span>
Stroking an Animal is only 70 minutes long. And it fills those 70 minutes with two things: attempts at artsy cinematography (to varying levels of success) and sexy young people doing sexy things like having sex. Where’s the story? Where’s the character? Not in Stroking an Animal, that’s for sure. 2.4/10
I thought Guardami was going to be tragedy porn meets actual porn. As it turns out, the film didn’t even deliver on the tragedy. 2.0/10
The best thing I can say about it is that it didn’t monumentally fuck anything up. I’ve seen my fair share of movies that fail to meet that requirement. However, not fucking up doesn’t mean Us x Her did anything particularly good, either. 4.6/10
Adan had a decent idea for how to start its movie and seemingly, a specific way it wanted the film to end. And in between? Bad character work, lousy sex scenes and a plot that doesn’t so much gradually get more unhinged but rather does so in fits and starts. 3.7/10
To my knowledge, there is nothing Swedish about this film, girls or otherwise. So, right from the start, we’re on a bad foot. 3.4/10
I’ve seen recent examples of how you can tell a story about this sort of underage relationship without sexualizing it. But that’s not what The Beguines is there to do. The Beguines is there to be sexy.
The Slave is one of the most stylish softcore films I’ve seen. It delves deeper into kink than other similar movies. What I would give for a version of this movie that had dialogue to back up the rest of the film’s good qualities. 5.6/10
I almost liked Black Cobra Woman. I understood its reason for existence, it had one very fun death scene and more queer content than I expected. But this still isn’t a good movie. 4.7/10
It’s a huge step up for a Jess Franco film to be boring. Usually, his films are incompetent. That makes this easily objectively one of his stronger films that I’ve seen. 4.6/10